The Energy of Hope

Brendan Price (BP) would say he is an average man. But it gives me great Hope that an average man with the help of family, friends and a universal cosmic energy can transcend and accept a higher knowledge. A flow of something that is hard to define is available to us all if we open our hearts, mind and soul to it!

BP is a survivor in the best sense of the word. In 1995 he was diagnosed with Stage 4 non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. His death was the sentence. He was a gymnast, and along with some friends, on March 15, 1987 established the Guiness record for fastest one mile handwalk relay. He was an acrobatic talent with Disney’s Lion King show in Orlando. He was also married to Jana Carrington for 14 years before she died of breast cancer. They were co-caregivers during their many individual bouts of survival.

BP says about Jana, “She was super perceptive, she was a quiet person and an amazing listener. Very intuitive spiritual woman.”

They met in 1991 at his brother’s wedding and she was coming off of an abusive relationship and he was dealing with “incurable stage 4 non-hogdkins lymphoma”. But nothing clicked. 5 years later they re-met and there was an animal attraction. They realized at that time they were both in a similar mind space that revolved around the awakening of recovery. They then began a long distance relationship.

Brendan says “I was finding it difficult to believe that a woman could fall in love with a man that had been diagnosed with incurable cancer. This amazing woman fell in love with me. She chose to pick love over the fear of my death”. They were both dealing with the recovery from grief and fear.

Jana authored a book titled “A Touch of Hope”. The final chapter deals with their joint fear of cancer, and more specifically how it affected their relationship, especially during the weeks before either of them would be tested or have a doctors visit. She explains that they would pick at each other in small ways because of this fear. I perceive that they both realized this and began to channel the positive energy they both needed to conquer that fear of cancer or death.

Jana writes in her book. Pick peace not fear. Pick joy not sorrow. Pick life not oppression 

Brendan explains:

“We were both awakening to the recovery process of wounded family stuff. A lot of people never make it out of the mind space of the wound, whatever the wound is. I am certain we survived at the time because we had community. WE had this groundswell of people from our life that came together, supported and held us up financially, spiritually, emotionally and medically. People were feeding us healthy food. They were doing our chores and taking care of our house. They were cutting the grass…fixing wood rot…there were prayers…there was chanting, meditation. It was incredible.”

We talked about his life long fear of death. He says that when he got the diagnosis of an “incurable” disease from regular doctors, it gave him a green light to look elsewhere for solace and healing. 

“When the doctors didn’t know what else to do with me, all they had were treatments and drugs, I had to expand my search. I need to go above and beyond medical treatments.” 

So months after his mother had died of breast cancer and going thru all the medical procedures that involved, BP had not decided to go through with the chemo and radiation. 

“I had this realization of death that dropped from my head down into my heart and then over into the soul. Head, heart and soul were starting to blend. The idea that no living thing, from single cells to us amazing humans, had ever survived forever. We all die.”

BP talks about his instinctive retreat inside himself as a means of protection from an absolute diagnosis that gave him little or no possible recovery. He wanted to block any negativity from the outside, and focus all his energy on the positive possibility of healing. He was channeling all the energy from within, and from somewhere else more ephemeral. He was receiving the positive energy from everywhere because he had made himself open to that.

Then there came another scary showdown after a reoccurrence of his disease. TBI (total body irradiation)! Lying on a gurney waiting for his first treatment in a hallway outside of the TBI area, he found himself next to a 2 or 3 year old girl, also awaiting the same treatment. He began talking in the way we grown-ups do and he thought, 

“I’m a grown man and I am scared out of my Skin, how is this baby……”. He trails off, and then says “I knew at that point it was time for me to reemerge from the process of going inside, and to be with her.”

The young girl was traumatized and could not talk. They instinctively made eye contact and he stopped trying to comfort her by being the “cool funny guy”. BP sensed she was frightened, confused and that she cared for me. She wanted to comfort him. “It was a reflection of what I wanted for her. We were having the same mirrored experience.” This communication and support continued for them over the ensuing days of extreme Total Body Irradiation. They never spoke and he lost track of what happened to the little girl. “She was like a little angel for me, and maybe I was for her. The gift from the little girl on the gurney was richer than any conversation I may have had with her. There was an energetic wireless exchange that was spiritual emotional, and physical….head, heart and soul. I think those experiences are available to us all the time. I believe that there is a flow. I believe it is aways there flowing right by us. If I could just step into that. I think it is always available to me. I just can’t choose when.”

Whether one believes in cosmic energy, intuitive communication or prayer, Brendan’s experiences leave me with a better understanding of Hope.

BP sums it up, “Everything that has lived is gonna die, and that I’m just another bozo on the bus was an amazing revelation I had on a cellular level. I don’t have to figure out how to live forever. I just had to understand how to live. And that is where the Hope is!”