Calendar Girl

What is your level of self confidence or self esteem?

Have you had extreme challenges in your life?

How hard have you had to work to maintain an enthusiastic attitude of respect or positive self image?

If you had Cerebral Palsy or some other similar disability, would you be doing what you do now at work or life in general?

Are we defined in the minds of others by our physical fragilities?

Since meeting and talking with Jordan, I have been thinking why I have not been able to sit down and write an objective story about her. What I heard affects my sense of Hope. Anyone with a disability has many challenges. Jordan has learned that this does not define who she is.

The easy, empathetic heart strings story would be to tell you about her childhood. She experienced mental and physical abuse from a drug addicted father. Hospital visits. Rare periods of depression. The people she has loved who have died. Stories of the many helpers she depends upon for her daily personal routines. I could tell you about the struggles she enumerated while trying to land her current job (71 interviews). Potential employers would see her application, talk to her on the phone but when they met in person, it all went south. She was the woman in a wheelchair!

Jordan explains: “I think living in the world is just hard. Whether you’re disabled or not. To be honest with you, I would say the disability is one of the easiest things on the scale of hard things that I’ve had to do.”

While listening to the recording of our conversation, I felt as though I should be writing a book of her life. But that is not what I do. I hit a writing wall, or what some call, a block. In an hour and a half’s conversation she told her story in remarkable detail, with an almost joyful pride. There is a humble sparkle to this young woman that is disarming. I found myself befuddled by the juxtaposition of her attitude and the facts of her life. As I am not a professional writer, my many attempts to find a Blog post about Hope in her situation, left me frozen. What I have come to realize is that it is her faith that she leans into, and that is what finally came through to me. She has an uncanny way of listening to her heart and head at the same time. Is this Hope?

Empathy! If you were listening to the recording of our conversation, you would think Jordan would not be capable of finding empathy for those who have maligned her. But because she has a Mother (and others) who love her and always believed Jordan could accomplish, and do, anything she set out to do, she intuitively gravitates to the upside of any situation. And she forgives!

Jordan says: ”My mom was the total opposite of my dad. She never made me feel like she was ashamed. She was actually proud. I was her kid. I did pageants in middle school called Calendar Girl. And I used to have the ability to use a walker. There was a lot of pain in my legs. So when I did the pageants in that Walker, I just didn’t think anything of it because my mom would take me shopping. We’d get a dress. She’d do my hair and do my makeup. And we’d just have a good time.

People would come up to me and say, you’re so courageous. And I’m like, why? I don’t understand, this is just fun. I’m just doing what the other girls are doing. And you know, my mom just always made me feel like anything I wanted to do, I could do.”

Jordan has a core of confidence that is her shield. The empathy she has and forgiveness she has bestowed is what sustains her.

Thanks for talking with me Jordan, and helping me to get over my writers block!