Esperance was five years old and running in a forest a few miles away from her parents impressive compound in Rwanda that had been transformed into to a refugee camp for people of that country and others who were victims of government repression, cultural brutality, racism, domestic violence and human trafficking. While running, dancing and picking flowers she experienced a light through the trees that she can only describe as a moment of spiritual awakening with God and the Universe.
Esperance means Hope in French, the colonial language of Rwanda. I had heard from several friends about this woman working in an affluent neighborhood grocery store, and knew I needed to talk with her. I was impressed with her calm, kind and open persona, but was not prepared for her dramatic life story.
During her early childhood years of being surrounded by traumatic repression, indignation and civil unrest in Rwanda, she was privileged. She could not understand why the world around her was so cruel and unjust. Why was no one listening or caring about what she was seeing? Fortunately her parents, though of the Rwandan elite, were humanitarians, artists and cared about those less privileged and destitute. They were assassinated in the 1994 Rwandan Genocide.
“My parents were amazing. At that time its was unusual for a little girl to feel this freely. This was instilled in me by my parents. I feel like I had the voice that my parents gave me, along with God and that light in the forrest. I feel am a human being with rights. Why don’t they let us just be”.
She talks about the love/hate relationship she has with Rwanda and America. Since she has been a refugee from a young age, in captivity and trafficked for so long on three continents (Africa, Europe and US), she has been deprived of education and technology. She is self educated and is learning technology along with the histories of both countries. The similarities are starkly similar, and based on injustice. When I hear of the atrocities she has experienced for so many years, it astonishes me that Esperance remains hopeful. She says this comes from the Love, Grace and Forgiveness that was instilled in her by her parents.
She talks about losing Hope many times during her years of captivity, and essential slavery. She would always find her Hope again in the stories about Nelson Mandella and others like him.
“I found God in captivity. I have my sanctuary of mind”
Finally while in captivity in the US she had been isolated and indoctrinated to believe she was hated by Americans and would be arrested if discovered. So she knew very little about the culture. She was experiencing Stockholm syndrome. But when she finally found her freedom, she began to use this sanctuary of mind to realize who she really is, and to tell her story so that we can understand those who are victims.
“We who are victims of Human trafficking are not niggers. We are beautiful. We are capable. We are human and kind. We have dreams and we have a voice.”
It was at this time she began to hear the message of Hope from President Obama and remembered what her name means to her and to her parents. She is called “Hope” at her workplace, because no one can pronounce Esperance. Now in America, she is as free as she can be working in a low wage job and feeling the isolation of being a black Rwandan woman. She seems to be reconnecting with that five year old child who saw the light in the forest and found herself through Grace, Forgiveness and Hope.
“It maybe a good thing that I was trafficked to America…..and found myself through grace, forgiveness, faith and Hope. But everything I do today is for my parent’s legacy”
Post script: Esperance Uwayirege Taylor is writing a book about her life to give voice to those victims of modern day slavery around the world like her, so that we can share her 5 year old sense of sanctuary and Hope.
I am very saddened to read about what she has gone through since her childhood and trafficked in three continents. Even, I am saddened , her hope makes me feel better and hopeful that the future may be better and bring all of us together.
Sending her all my love and beautiful memories….
Lots of love ,
Coco